This belly

My belly—this belly—has been through a lot over the last 12 years.

(Is it weird for a 38-year-old woman to call it a “belly”?)

I carried a very big baby in there—hence the belly button that is both an innie and an outie.

This belly got cut open so that big baby could arrive here safely.

In a few weeks, this belly will get three new scars—one right on the navel and two a little farther down. The scars will be small because science has allowed amazing things to be done through tiny incisions, but they’ll still be new. More marks on this belly that has carried a life, held so much pain and stress, so much worry.

I asked my husband to take a picture so I would remember what this belly looked like before more cuts were made—cuts for a different kind of delivery this time.

Delivery from pain, I hope.

I plan to mark the scars with tattoos one day. Stars, I think. They show you the way.